Conflicts wvin myself
I jz cant stop comparin my SHS n d present UTP. i reli cant stop thinking bout it. if i reli hv 2 compare physically, UTp of cz is a lot better den my SHS…
bt i often try 2 make myself lov utp bt i found it hard 4 me 2 like utp. i still remember when i 1st time enter SHS,d 1st time i sing d school rally, i m vy proud of my school. i try 2 memorize my school lyrics. dat time i was still a small kid, i dono d meaning of d lyric.
now as i grown up, now i catch up d meaning of d lyrics. mayb i’ll discuss it in my SHS group discussion.. haha. bt utp din giv me d feeling of proud n home as i receive in SHS. SHS gives me a feeling like home, calmness, hepi, and d most important is responsibilities n commitment.
in utp, i don hv those feelings, mayb bcz of d staffs n d pp here. though utp hv d bez facilities in d world wv world class chancellor hall, world class classes, world class library, bt they don hv d "heart".. when i say d word "heart", i mean they provide me a safe shelter like a mum’s hug..
how’s it feel under a mum’s hug… feel protected, warm, like u r not afraid of anythin, feel courageous n brave, at d same time, u oso wanna protect ur mom like dat.. dat feeling is fantastic, which i only get in SHS. not here in UTP.. reli not here. utp 4 me, is like a place 4 students 2 graduate..
i prefer person’s personality den studies. i know i m not d type of pp who likes study, i jz know, if i got study hard bt den my result is not good, i will b satisfied. d last time when i step out from my school in d speech day last year, i hope dat i can hv d same feeling in utp.. bt vy mengecewakan… it’s not here
i hv try 2 force o motivate myself 2 lov utp.. bt reli not here. i cant say dat i don like utp, bt i don hv d feeling 2wards shs. i dono y i like 2 compare, like i sot sot like dat. memang… if i so love shs, den y i don wanna study lower 6 in shs??
1 thing i was sure dat, if i still lock myself in d past, den i wont b able 2 develope myself.. i will stay mundur n wont b maju. i wont b maju if i still hv d attitude, dat’s y i prefer 2 come here.i started 2 think if 1 day, d name of UTP changed 2 SHS, will i still like d school?
hmm, i think nope. cz here dont hv d feeling of "love"… i cant feel d feeling here.. so much 4 o d rubbish… mayb i can try 2 keep myself occupied wv lots of homeworks so dat i wont hv d time 2 think of it, o mayb i can try 2 change my perspective, o mayb i can jz let it b like dat//
haiz.. somebody help me.. i felt i m very imbalanced now.. i need 2 balance again my mentality.. SOS…
